for my son

My final post

In eight years managing a drug and alcohol treatment center I have learned almost nothing about drug addiction or alcoholism. No questions have been answered. No solutions have been revealed. I’m not sure there was ever really anything to learn.

Addiction is part of this world. Part of life. Part of us. Part of people we know. People we love. Part of our history. Part of our society. Part of our minds. Part of the human condition. Its cause is a million things and nothing at all. Trauma, childhood, experience and genetics all play a role. But it starts with a person’s decision to drink and use and it ends the same way. We must love and respect people enough to admit that.

And there will be more theories, opinions, and complicated explanations. Psychiatrists and therapists will tell us how to treat it, politicians how to deal with it, and doctors will offer medical cures.

And the rehabs, jails, hospitals, and drug dens will remain full. Because we will never fully understand life and the desires of the heart and complexities of the mind. Or why people do what they do… hell, half the time they don’t even know.

I have learned an awful lot about human behavior though. I see people laugh, cry, hope, curse, go crazy, fail, succeed, love, hate, change, stay the same, live, and die. And I see em do it everyday.

I have a 10 year old boy. I think about him every day at work. I used to hope that he never ends up in a place like this. But now I don’t think that’s important. He might. He might not. I realize it’s how he acts that counts. No matter where he ends up.

And you could call it what I’ve learned. Or you could call it advice, for addicts or anyone else. Or you could call it a poem for everyone. But it’s not.

It’s for my son.

Take chances
Make mistakes
Fail
Get your own style
Don’t use trendy words or phrases everyone else uses
Don’t do what the crowd is doing
they’re doing it wrong
Recognize nonsense
even when the whole world is saying it
Switch careers
Get some sun
Know yourself but also know you can change
Judge your actions
Never your thoughts
Hold yourself to a higher standard
It’s no one else’s fault
Don’t be scared of making a fool of yourself
it’ll prevent you from trying
Forget about loving yourself
Love someone else
Be polite
Don’t read self help books
Be skeptical
Don’t be cynical
Find sad people and make ‘em happy
if you do you’ll walk with the gods
Never be scared of being alone
Stare out the window
Daydream
Don’t try to correct your feelings
just feel them
you’re feeling them for a reason
In any situation, look for the victim
and throw in with them
Don’t try to make money
try to not be bored
or boring
Don’t try to be happy
try to love instead
Learn how to tell a story
and make people laugh
Don’t be mean
Tell the truth
Remember everything
Know that your existence is a meaningless random accident
and it’s amazing
and glorious
and a miracle
and the only real magic in this world
Turn up the music
Close your eyes
Smile

You are beautiful